He or She may be the joy of your life and the apple of your eye, but there are times when you can’t help but feel like all is not well in your relationship.
Perhaps you’ve walked down the aisle, and you fondly recall the vows, “for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth.” It’s at that point that many couples in America would pause and re-think, “What’s wrong with my partner’s finances?” And this is not without good reason.
Popular TV relationship advisor, Dr. Phil says, “Money can ruin a marriage. In fact, it’s the number one problem in marriages.” He proceeds to mention that the reason money is worst homewrecker is because it’s the most measurable aspect of merging two lives.
People often don’t have a problem compromising on their personal space, time or other intangible aspects of their lives. But when it comes to money, compromises can cause fights and the widest rifts.
Financial fidelity in a relationship is often rated to be just as critical as emotional or physical fidelity.
When a partner proves financially unfaithful, the entire relationship is jeopardized. If a person accrues massive debt without disclosing it to their significant other, it amounts to financial infidelity and could lead to separation. Just as Dr. Phil puts it, “money is the number one cause of divorce.”
Although couples are often counseled on how to handle money matters before they exchange their vows, many people find themselves dragged into financial graveyards by their partners’ financial ‘secret affairs.’
Is your partner secretly accruing massive debt?
Here are some tell-tale signs for you and how you can recover from financial infidelity.
1. They can’t Stick to a Budget
The earliest financial red flag in a relationship is when you notice that your partner has a hard time keeping to a budget.
Granted, not all of us were raised to make every buck count during our formative years. However, this is the kind of reckless spending that would cause your partner to get broke in record speed. You may notice that although your salaries may be equal (or nearly equal) and you get paid on the same dates, your partner can hardly account or hold on to their pay.
Of course, that leaves you with the short end of the stick and often you’ll find yourself carrying the heavier load in terms of meeting household expenses and other needs. If that’s you, you may suggest using an app like Trim to help your partner get started on tracking and accounting for their expenditure. Meanwhile, you’ll need to be conservative on how you spend. This article will give you excellent sites for coupons and ideas on how to be frugal.
At first, many people overlook such a red flag and shrug it off thinking that since the partner doesn’t have a drinking or a gambling problem failing to keep to a budget is not such a big deal. However, it’s worthy to note that Compulsive Shopping Disorder, which affects one in 20 Americans, is a leading cause of deleterious financial habits and can lead to a debilitating debt.
So keep an eye on how keen your partner is to keeping to the budget. What’s their level of commitment, and even more crucial, how accountable they are about what they have earned. If shopping is your partner’s addiction, then this article on Walmart’s Secrets can get you started on saving some money.
2. They are Secretive about How they Spend Money
In as much as money is regarded as the number one source of break-ups, lack of accountability is what destroys relationships and could land you into massive debt.
Financial accountability and financial independence go hand in hand. However, if your partner demands independence without accountability, it’s time you checked their credit card receipts and statements.
Is your partner open about how they spend money? Are they accountable?
Accountability has no two ways about it. You just have to be willing to share the information and allow your partner to ask tough questions.
Watch out for behaviors such as avoidance of such discussions, or if your partner gets upset every time you bring up money issues. Sometimes they shrug off such discussions, sidelining them as “not priority,” especially if you have well-paying jobs and money seems not to be a problem. Whatever the case, don’t be fooled. Make a pact to be accountable for every buck and stay true to it.
3. They are Often Late on their Bills
You don’t have to be living together for you to notice that the apple of your eye has not been paying their bills on time. The most obvious indicator of this financial red flag in your relationship is when your partner has stacks of unopened mail. The mail could be notifications on late payments of rent or other utilities. It could also be notifications of penalties due to late payments.
Although unread mail may seem insignificant, lateness fees and late payments are crucial financial red flags in your relationship.
Your partner could have tons of reasons why they have stacks of unread mail and why are regularly late in paying their bills. But it’s a sign that they are not on top of their finances.
Try suggesting that they take a secured credit card instead of the traditional unsecured card. The limit may be lower, however, it’s an excellent way to learn the cycles of credit cards and get into the routine of making on-time payments.
4. You’ll Catch them Lying
According to a survey done by creditcard.com, a majority of American couples are outright honest about their financial lives. The survey revealed that an astonishing 92 percent of Americans are open about the details of their transactions. However, the remaining 7 percent which accounts for over 6 million adults, hide important financial information.
It could be a secret credit card account, savings account, checking account or keeping financial information, like massive student loans, under wraps. That is until you discover it.
A worse scenario is when you discover transactions done through your credit card but you did not perform or authorize them. If your partner is using your credit card without your consent, it’s a major financial red flag in your relationship which could lead to massive debt and you need to address it immediately.
If your partner has taken out a credit card in your name without your consent or approval it could run you into massive debt. But, you still have the right to protect your financial integrity. You can reach out to Lexington Law and they’ll help you protect your credit.
5. They’re Always Indebted to Someone
Is your partner always asking his or her friends to bail them out and promises to make it good in “no time?” Are they the eternal mooch?
If your partner always owes his or her pals, is always reluctant to pay the tab in a restaurant or is always borrowing money from his or her family – especially parents – you need to have your antennae up. Your partner could have already accrued massive debt in the form of loans or unpaid credit card bills and is now turning to “softer” sources to borrow.
You don’t need science to prove to you that having a mooch for a partner is deleterious. It’s not only energy draining, but also a red flag that your significant other is accruing massive debt if they have not already, and you’ll both be held jointly accountable.
6. You Don’t Share Financial Values
Whether it’s not sticking to a budget, not being accountable, being dishonest and hiding transactions or being a mooch, you get irked by your partner’s behaviors because you don’t share the same values when it comes to money.
You’ll realize that you don’t agree on how to spend it, save it or invest it. Therefore, chances are high that you discuss money issues less frequently and important issues such as an accruing debt may be swept under the carpet for many years only to surface when it’s overwhelming.
Not sharing financial values – or financial incompatibility – is a red flag on the sustainability of your relationship. However, if you are already in a relationship and you are not discussing money matters, it’s a red flag on your financial well-being.
Experts have it that the more you discuss money matters, the easier it gets and the more likely you are to make good financial decisions individually and as a couple. The opposite is true and it is a forerunner to financial issues such as massive debt.
In conclusion, these tell-tale signs indicate that your partner is accruing debt can be found in all relationships but at different degrees. If you have already discovered that your partner has massive debt (whether credit card or any other kind of loan) it doesn’t have to be your financial grave. You can get in touch with bad credit survival guide and get help in recovering from the debt.